I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
