I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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