Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
