I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wear drunk well.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
