I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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