I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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