I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
