I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
