Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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