i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
