I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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