You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
