Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
did i walk over a car last night?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
