You made me cry and you don't even care
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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