you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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