I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Everyone says I win the strip club
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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