Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
