ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
