I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
