The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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