I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
