The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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