So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
