The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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