bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
