Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
