I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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