I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
