I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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