i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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