oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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