my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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