I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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