like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize
