they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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