how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize