Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
