Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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