It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
