I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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