You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
