I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So vagazzling was a success
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
