i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
