if only i could text you this smell
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
