he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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