There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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