you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
