hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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