we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
