the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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