your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i would punch a child for taco bell
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize