So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
