Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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