her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
