I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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