Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
