she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
