I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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