Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
