Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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