what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
