Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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