i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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