I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
